var num=Math.floor(Math.random()*24+1); //*(max-min+1)+(min) var msg; switch(num) { case 1:msg="Time and tide wait for no man";break; case 2:msg="Little drops of water make a mighty ocean";break; case 3:msg="Cleanliness is next to godliness";break; case 4:msg="A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush";break; case 5:msg="A bird in the hand is bad table manners";break; case 6:msg="If at first you don't succeed , think how many people you have made happy.";break; case 7:msg="Too many cooks increase the cost of the food.";break; case 8:msg="Slow and steady wins the slow cycling race.";break; case 9:msg="Half a loaf is not better than one.";break; case 10:msg="Make hay only if it is needed.";break; case 11:msg="Little drops of water cannot quench your thirst unless there are many little drops.";break; case 12:msg="Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you.";break; case 13:msg="Never hit a man with glasses. Use your fist instead because your glasses will break.";break; case 14:msg="100 bucks saved for 100 years will become 1,00,000(with interest) at which time it will be worth absolutely nothing.";break; case 15:msg="A penny saved is a penny earned.";break; case 16:msg="Failure is the stepping stone to success.";break; case 17:msg="Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.";break; case 18:msg="There is one thing that both drunks and geographers agree upon : the Earth spins round and round.";break; case 19:msg="A man who wants to do something will find a way : a man who doesn't will find an excuse.";break; case 20:msg="Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.";break; case 21:msg="The tree on the mountain takes whatever the mountain brings. If it has any choice at all , it is in putting down roots as deeply as possible.";break; case 22:msg="An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. An optimist fears the same may be true.";break; case 23:msg="There are two ways to study butterflies: chase them with nets then inspect their dead bodies, or sit quietly in a garden and watch them dance among the flowers.";break; default:msg="Look before you leap";break; } document.write(msg); document.write("

Jokes and Facts
"); num=Math.floor(Math.random()*11+1); //*(max-min+1)+(min) switch(num) { case 1: msg="Accountant : Doctor, I cannot sleep at night.
\ Doctor : Have you tried counting sheep ?
\ Accountant : That's the problem - I make a mistake
and spend three hours trying to find it\
and then to write it in the accounts book.";break; case 2: msg="Varun : Name two days of the week which begin with 'T'.
\ Arun : Today and Tomorrow.
\ Varun : Well it's not wrong .Next. How many seconds
\ are there in a year ?
\ Arun : There are 12 seconds in a year.
\ Varun : 12 ? How can you say that ?
\ Arun : Well, January 2nd , February 2nd ,March 2nd ,etc.";break; case 3: msg="The Army, Navy and Air force were arguing about who had the bravest\ troops. They decided to show each other what they could do.\ The Army general called a soldier and ordered him to climb to the top of a flagpole\ singing an army song, and then let go of both hands and salute . The soldier did as\ he was told.
\ Next, the admiral called a sailor and told him to climb the pole ,\ polish the brass knob at the top , salute and jump off. The sailor also did as he\ was told.
\ Finally the air marshal called a fighter pilot and told him to do the same ,\ but with a backpack full of bricks and carrying loaded weapons. The pilot took\ one look at the air marshal and said, 'You are crazy ! I will not do that.'.
\ The air marshal looked at the others and said, 'That's what I call guts'.";break; case 4: msg="Lecturer to colleagues : I can understand it if my students look at their\ watch during my lecture , but now they stare at their watch and shake it to see if it is\ working.";break; case 5: msg="First shepherd : How many sheep do you have ?
\ Second shepherd : I don't know.
\ First shepherd : What do you mean that you don't know ?
\ Second shepherd : Every time I start counting, I fall asleep.";break; case 6: msg="Two rich women were boasting to each other. The first woman boasted,\ 'My husband bought the bed that belonged to Napoleon Bonaparte.' 'Oh!',\ said the other woman with disdain , 'You buy second hand furniture !' ";break; case 7: msg="Tom : Why do witches fly on broomsticks ?
\ Mathew : Because vacuum cleaners need an electric socket.";break; case 8: msg="Motion pictures always follow some definite rules.
\ *A detective can only solve a case if he has been suspended from office.
\ *A bomb in a car or building blasts at the exact moment when the hero jumps out.
\ *When villains shoot the hero, all the bullets will miss him. When the hero shoots,\ all the bad guys die in a single shot.
\ *When you pay a taxi , you just take a note at random from your wallet.\ It's always the correct amount.
\ *Any lock can be picked in seconds with a credit card or hair pin, except\ when it is a building on fire with someone trapped inside.
\ *It is always possible to find a parking space in front of the building you visit.
";break; case 9: msg="An Intelligent test for the President of Ganganagar
\ While visiting Yamunanagar , the President of Ganganagar , Mr. Patel\ is invited to tea with the president of Yamunanagar , Mr. Singh. Patel\ asks Singh what his leadership philosophy is. He replies that it is to\ surround himself with intelligent people. Patel asks how he knows if they are intelligent.
\ \"I do so by asking the right questions, \" says Singh , \"I will demonstrate.\"
\ He phones his Prime Minister and says, \"Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this\ question. Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is\ not your brother or sister. Who is it ?\"
\ The Prime minister answers , \"It's me , sir.\"
\ \"Correct. Thank you and goodbye.\" , says Mr. Singh and finishes the call. He asks , \"\ Did you understand, Mr. Patel ?\"
\ \"Yes, thank you sir. I'll definitely use that.\"
\ Patel returns to Ganganagar and calls his Prime Minister. He asks ,\"\ Please answer this question. Your mother has a child, and your father\ has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it ?\"
\ The Prime minister thinks for a while and asks whether he could tell the answer later.\ Patel agrees and the Prime minister leaves. The Prime Minister calls a\ meeting of his ministers and they puzzle over the question for several\ hours, but do not get an answer. Finally, he asks the question to a peon, \"\ Please answer this question. Your mother has a child, and your father has a child,\ and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it ?\"
\ The peon answers , \"It's me, sir.\"
\ Relieved, the Prime Minister rushes to the President and exclaims , \"\ I know the answer, sir! I know who it is. It is the peon.\"
\ The President replies in disgust , \"Wrong , you idiot. It's the\ Prime Minister of Yamunanagar.\" ";break; case 10: msg="Abraham Lincoln : Factual story
\ Lost his job in 1832
\ Defeated for the Legislature in 1832
\ Failed in business in 1833
\ Elected to legislature in 1834
\ Sweetheart died in 1835
\ Had nervous breakdown in 1836
\ Defeated as speaker in 1838
\ Defeated for nomination for Congress in 1843
\ Elected to Congress in 1846
\ Lost renomination in 1848
\ Rejected for Land Office in 1849
\ Defeated for the Senate in 1854
\ Defeated for nomination for Vice-President in 1856
\ Again defeated for the Senate in 1858
\ But ...
\ In 1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected President of the United States of America.";break; default: msg="Tom : Do you think computers will replace newspapers ?
\ Mathew : Never ! You can't swat a fly with a computer.";break; } document.write(msg);